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The zone of free will

About the Blog

Ever wanted a place for passion, an escape from everyday reality?

A place to lose yourself in science-fiction, music, spirituality and more? Passion for late nights and fuzzy days, exploring the internet? A source of inspiration? To connect with likeminded people and start a revolution?

If Yes, you’ve might have come to the right place.

If No, look anyway. ;)

Jobs, Money And Survival

Articles Posted on Sun, October 28, 2018 20:04:27

Sometimes you get pretty surprised by events that you at first thought would be your undoing but lately discovered was good for you in ways you just couldn’t predict.

This is how my application for job opportunities have changed the way I think about work and life in general. The realization is that work and the intellectual discipline to master different fields in work have presented opportunities for me to use my intellect to get creative in many ways. Also to learn skills to master these professional pursuits.

It isn’t just about learning different kinds of work. But to be able to present oneself for employers, master psychology to tackle tuff situations and still get a sense of satisfaction from these attempts.

The key insight is that the ideas presented in my fictional works are fine in themselves (From my perspective and many readers too). And those ideas have been tested by myself and others. Tried and tested theories in real life situations such as the meeting of other people. Also testing “happiness” levels from day to day as I have adopted different modes of thought relevant to particular times and places. But traditional work is great in the sense that it is more practical. One can get a good reality check just by assuming a new perspective and testing that perspective in real work scenarios. It is also fuelling creativity in a more practical sense. It is a rush to assume a new perspective, learn some new skills and search for new job opportunities made possible just because one has learned the tricks of the trade.

Watching life become much more easy to conquer.

It was the same when I started to play chess several months ago. To adopt new ideas and then being able to test those ideas in real chess games. Watching fuzzy ideas melt away and strengthening true creativity that arises in the context of a real game environment.

That’s the problem with writing and art in general. That what emerges on page not necessarily has to work in real life. It just has to have a sense of emotional resonance. And being interesting.

So what happened when I started with chess playing and searched for work beyond writing projects, meditation and so on was that I felt a closer connection to reality. To human nature too as our ancestors had to have a strong sense of direction, perception and intellectual capacity to become survivors among other species competing for terrain.

Getting real, getting authentic. And watching writing also improve due to real life experience.

I have started to search more for new job opportunities. Doing it for the money off course but also for the adventure. To apply for jobs I couldn’t handle in the beginning. It is a kind of rush. But a rush demanding an active thinker/participant.

It has changed the way I combine creative pursuits such as writing with more practical elements.

Even martial arts.

But there is more to it: I have learnt that the discipline to earn more money results in the access to an inner reward system that rewards the worker as he/she increases chances for survival and reproduction.

Human life from my perspective is not so much about subjective leanings. It is rather about survival and reproduction and subjective leanings towards different areas has to be combined with knowledge about human nature. That sex, work and family gives birth to an inner reward system resulting in greater happiness levels in the long run.

Work can be tedious, hard and draining. But that is work that lacks a creative angle and doesn’t fit personal goals. I think a healthy approach to work includes a creative angle and also has a sense of adventure. And for me personally good work also has a social element. As we are social animals with a good intellect.

Fighting for reproduction and survival.

What I have done lately is to establish a clear path to professional goals. That I search for jobs in new areas. That I work on my skill set. That I have adopted a mode of adaptation to learn the tricks of the trade. But also to learn from mistakes. To change perspective on temporarily suffering. To enjoy the journey for what it is. To push myself beyond initial limitations. Taking rest in between and then pushing a bit further. Doing it as a passionate attempt to fuse creativity in writing with professional work experience.

Hopefully leading to a more balanced life giving rewards in the long run. Due to the nature of the human body and soul.

ID Software

Articles Posted on Wed, October 24, 2018 14:36:57

ID Software

I have become a bit different from how I was when I started with travel around 2010. Starting with travel journeys into the south parts of Sweden. Extending this to western Europé, India and so on. What made the difference was the realization that the intellect should be the decisive force in life.

That’s why I have become much more interested in intellectual disciplines such as chess and classical music (Mozart and Vivaldi in particular). But also a new found interest in the action packed shooters by ID Software such as Quake II, Doom 3 and Wolfenstein 2. These games are a good asset to train perception, battle-tactics, motor response and other factors. Leading to intellectual development.

In particular I’m very much into the Doom 3 game as it has a unique atmosphere with dread and doom. Not too dissimilar from stories of mine including “The Light Of The Beast” which was loosely inspired by the Doom 3 game.

ID software was a relief from boredom in my younger years as I started with graphics programming on my personal computer. A book written on game programming called “The Black Art of 3D Game Programming” by Michael Abrash pushed my teenager intellect into another dimension. I created a homesite which specialized in graphics programming for the 3dfx graphics chip.

Programming to me is about pushing the envelope to create fast graphics routines that can make it possible to show things never imagined. Today anything is possible though. Game design has started to focus more on story and character development as “photo realism” already is attained. Nowadays it is rather about the imagination. My deepest interest still.

Finding way to new concepts leading the individual to intellectual development.

Connecting further into the area of ID software I’m still amazed by the level design of these masters. As games such as Quake II has a unique atmosphere of claustrofobia, open areas and enemy design that display a threatening presence. But still rewarding the game player with the unlocking of secret areas, power-ups and heavy weapons. To make the individual to first feel threatened and then building power. A good balancing of factors.

I’m working on a computer game myself. Game design, visuals, story, character, sound design and music. It is something transcending my previous works presented on my blog and the continuation homesite. Much larger in scope. The concept is to present a video game to put an end to illuminati rule on earth. Leading the player to areas unveiling secrets about the rulers on earth. How to defeat them, their strengths and weaknesses. And during that conflict to present a way for the player to find leisure to build morale.

I don’t know if this game ever can be made. It demands a large budget, time and effort. I’m a writer mainly but I can promise you that if this game ever is made it will be epic in scope. Even leading the player to secret areas on the moon.

It is a clever push for anarchy.

What should interest readers mostly though is that I have seen the connection between game playing and life itself. The conscious choice to defeat enemies, think fast and responding in particular ways builds morale, intellectual strength and also gives the player a sense of purpose.

Life to me is about the right choices. Choices that demands a free-thinking individual. A topic I described in my latest novel “Beginners” about two chess players playing chess in Nazi Germany before the second world war.

The games by ID software presents a chance to build discipline in these areas. But to me games such as Doom 3 have helped me most in building morale as these games presents a huge threat. A sense of dread and doom that resembles tuff situations in life. From a psychological perspective. Better to indulge in the action and the horror to accept the bleak and hollow death of the individual soul.

Leading to dark enlightenment.


Articles Posted on Thu, September 20, 2018 18:14:56

Ok. Now I have been doing some research concerning job opportunities in the field of bartender jobs. And cafe jobs to add to that. And it has turned out that this field is interesting to me. Just because it presents good opportunities to get social at work. Also to get a bit physical to balance my interest in writing (An intellectual discipline) with more physical elements.

I worked as a personal assistant in the past. And that job was social too. But it was a little bit depressing due to the kind of people I had to work with. The individuals I worked with were a little bit too depressed to make me elevate in spirit so to speak. But it was a good experience on the other hand leading me to this area of bartending jobs and work along those lines. I would also like to became a DJ.

Success is a subtle thing. Subtle in the sense that it can hardly be reduced to external factors such as lending a job from a good employer. It has rather to do with a mind-set. The choice to value and perceive job opportunities as a chance to grow in different ways and presenting opportunities to advance in the career path chosen.

Just the decision to push myself beyond my comfort zone to talk to employers and employees have made me more firm in my belief that I’m the right person for these kind of jobs. It happened as I made myself comfortable being myself (and pushing beyond) in social contexts. Not playing too hard to impress. Or seeing myself as a loser. Rather taking it easy and enjoying the moments presented.

I have adopted a stoic mind-set of pushing myself beyond my comfort zone with small doses at a time. Getting time for rest. Getting time to adjust to the new experience. As in body-building psychological strength increases as the aspirant pushes himself beyond his/her comfort zone and then easing down to make the body and the psyche adjust to the experience gained.

It is something I had to learn the hard way. And also a point hinted at between the sentences in my new science-fiction story “Insignificant”. And my life have improved because of that.

It’s a new beginning.

Who Am I?

Articles Posted on Sun, September 09, 2018 14:12:04

I don’t want to scare my readers away. It is something I have realized by real life experience. And that is that most of my readers aren’t interested by my new mode of intellectual progress compared to my previous emotional stage resulting in the writing of Alien Forever: The Novel.

I have to be honest though. I look upon myself as an individual with a good sense of intellectual powers. Many people have said that I am a genius but if that is so have to be a subjective interpretation from your part.

Don’t be alarmed by my new mode of consciousness. I’m still very much interested in the mode of dark/individualistic/erotic power described by stories such as “Alien Forever: The Novel” and “Fading Blue Sun And White Amber The Black Magician”. My new short story “Erratic Pain” is all these things and more.

Alien Forever: The Novel is my most popular book. Now having around 2500 reads on and still counting. It is almost like listening to a tune from gothic rock bands such as “London After Midnight”, “Bauhaus” or “David Bowie”. I’m proud of it. And it has very much to do with my philosophy of survival and reproduction. Delving into ego, hate and darkness to push Christianity away. Not by burning churches but rather as an aesthetic thing. Just requiring emotional investment.

What makes me what I am is my mode of counter-culture. Coming from the basement. Pure anarchy. Extending this mode of being to never want to be like others (with additional skills of adaptation) to present something new, daring and different. And still giving way for emotional investment and clarity of vision.

Some things can be said about money too. I’m doing this for personal power, self-discovery and writing pleasure (including music). I don’t want to mix this passion with money as that would make me adapt to a mode of writing suitable for the masses.

I stand by my philosophy of being pure. Free from all concepts of what writing “should be” and just doing my thing. I attract dark occultists. Counter-culture giants, free artists and readers/writers that search for the fun. Not the big paycheck and absolutely not beings that want to conform to a mode of goodness.

Don’t be afraid of my new mode of intellect as it mostly is required to push beyond initial limitation. To really create something with emotional resonance in the end. My new short story “Erratic Pain” should be a good example of that.

It is my most emotional story written this far.

Mostly individualistic.

Intellectual Stimulation

Articles Posted on Tue, September 04, 2018 21:42:58

So much nonsense. So much principles that never work in real life. I have been there. In my adolescent years I was feeling lost. I read spiritual gurus and searched for answers my virgin brain felt were uplifting, magical, evolutionary.

But I got caught in a black void of contradictory ideas. And at one point I was swept away in overthinking. Analysing other paths in order to find something that would lead me (and others) to enlightenment.

It didn’t happen.

What I found out was that what later worked actually was the complete opposite to the ideas conveyed in the teachings of the gurus I read. Primarily Jiddu Krishnamurti, Sri Ramana Maharshi and Hermann Hesse.

I had to abandon the concept of non-thinking, a surrender to love to start to affirm the ego, the intellect, knowledge and power instead. To sleep more, take care of the body. Involving myself in erotic encounters, eat, walk and drink.

What I have seen is that the intellect (aside from the ego and good sleep) was the one power directing me towards a life with abundance. With energy, high levels of pleasure and also success in relationships, passionate work and general well being.

But the intellect is a force that really can lift you up or put you down. You have to know you need to think independently. Never believing in other peoples ideas. Just investigating them to find shortcuts to success in areas you don’t know by heart.

The act of surrender to other people’s ideas is a mistake due to the unique destiny you have in todays individualistic world. What works for others may not work for you. And you change as circumstances change.

Just believing in an idea is also not to truly understand an idea conforming to true life experience. That was one of the realizations of Jiddu Krishnamurti. So far so good. But still he was conditioned by his individual path and spiritual heritage.

So think fresh. Think anew. Affirm nothing that you can’t investigate yourself. Or something you also know by personal experience.

Ever more: Believe in nothing as this belief almost always leads to a big mistake of another kind. Serving others for individual loss of joy and power. You are put on earth with your own wishes and hopes. No one can give this to you. You have to serve yourself as all individuals strive for personal success primarily.

Who do you think can save you in a world built on self-interest?

Success with intellect has very much to do with adopting an egoistical concept of intellectual progress. Never think with the philosophy of intellectual burdens. That philosophy destroys more than it creates. A reason that the mystics (Such as Sri Ramana Maharshi) summoned great energy that otherwise would have been lost. Never think for loss of individual purity. Think slow, think your own thoughts and most importantly: Look to it that you get good sleep. That you adopt a philosophy of no-care.

Something happens when a true thinker realizes the limitations of the intellect. That it can deceive, that it can distort the mind and making you a mind-drone. That it can lead to psychosis. Adopt a philosophy of thinking just for intellectual stimulation. Reading for the joy of it. Reading a part of a text. Think slowly upon it. Fill in the blanks you find with personal experience. Read with good variety. Read to chock yourself with personal indulgence into topics interesting to you. These topics are the topics that can push you into another dimension as they are fit for your personal life.

Not others.

Adopt a philosophy of good sleep, good nutrition, contradictory habits (such as walking in nature) as the mind has to work subconsciously upon the ideas digested. It is sleep that makes the subconscious mind connect what you have been reading to what it already knows. Giving way for a true understanding.

But also (And this is a huge finding from my part) adopt a philosophy of getting dumber. It is sounding ridiculous but it changes the way you think about intelligence. Adopting a philosophy of getting dumber kills all intellectual ambitions and pulls the intellect into a dimension where it can grasp concepts in a deeper part of the brain.

But it is not a philosophy of getting dumb as you think upon dumb people you have met. It is a concept coming from the heart of an dark occultist that have seen with great clarity that “getting dumb” actually is intelligence.

“Getting dumb” is just to operate in a deeper part of the brain.

But it is more to it: Start slow. Read a little, play a little chess, write something down. Walk a little, play a little, get some sleep. Find the way to the will (as you listen to the whispers of your heart) and still you make progress in small doses.

It is a process that slowly should unveil itself. It is about intellectual stimulation. Of growing intellectually by actually just playing with different ideas. Letting the working of the deep unconscious unveil secrets to you not known by the common herd.

As the intellect grows the faster you can digest new information. Leading faster to solutions to personal goals. Affirming relevance as you only read texts that reveals secrets to you aligning to your chosen path in life.

You start to connect the dots. Various areas of human understanding connect together to build a dark symmetry. And you will start to see that all life is very much the same.

A dark vibration of invisible strings. An information construct of perceptions existing within the Universal Mind. Genius is about getting dumber. Losing all reality concepts and finding way to your own illusions. Resurrecting individuality. Individual purity, knowledge and power.

Setting you free.

Creative Wholeness

Articles Posted on Sun, September 02, 2018 14:41:31

Sometimes when I’m writing I can sense I’m searching for something but that I can’t define this idea with authenticity. It’s like I’m writing about one thing and something else emerges on paper.

I can honestly say that I have found my way around this problem. One of the problems were that I sometimes wasn’t direct in my self-expression. Meaning I tried too hard to impress myself with anything transcending my creative capacity.

I wrote science-fiction but I was aiming for the remote stars. Not the harsh and more realistic approach to write like my heroes in the field. Meaning Robert Heinlein, Stanislaw Lem and Arthur C. Clarke (Among others). Not that I wanted to imitate these giants. Just that I rarely was searching for a more realistic approach to complement a creative vision with rugged realism.

But it’s more to it.

It’s that I have found my way to nature here in Sweden. It has been going on for a couple of years. Still I have made a lot of progress concerning my scientific approach to learn about the facts of nature. Not with a calculating and cold attitude but rather as a way to immerse myself into natural environments.

The realization is that nature is inventive. Orderly with a random evolutionary pattern allowing certain breakthroughs such as emergence on a biological level.

Nature is flowering with beauty on all levels of experience. And with these facts at disposal it’s easier to imagine plausible worlds within a science-fiction context. Getting real. Getting down to earth. Finding the way to world-building and solid character work beyond the shallow conventions of genre-literature.

Building on research into human nature. Getting grounded in something speaking to the human heart, mind and soul.

I have had a lot to gain from getting creative to transcend the power of my earlier works. Still sometimes I have tried too much to impress myself with the stretching of creative muscles. It has been better to settle down, go slow, get real and to enjoy the journey to uncover facts never understood with precision earlier.

Especially in works of science-fiction with a human component.

There’s more to it too.

It’s that I earlier wrote more with an emotional angle. I didn’t use a systems oriented intellectual model to uncover details of the actual worlds, events and characters described. I couldn’t catch the true purpose of the content described. Especially not the big strokes coming from a more experienced mind-set.

A mind that can penetrate the material investigated to distil the obvious. Just being “obvious” for a true genius working in the field. It’s a question of context. To some extent I earlier couldn’t build a correct model of the material investigated.

It had to do with lack of a systems oriented approach building on a lot of high-quality material and logical deduction. To see the obvious. The things that are truly interesting from a human point of view. Having relevance, intellectual depth and emotion resonating with the human heart, mind and soul.

That’s what I’m aiming for in my new science-fiction novel “Insignificant”.

It will not be written especially fast this time. I’m rather writing to immerse myself in a slow process with great attention to research. A process of write and rewrites to find the true essence of my vision.

It’s about the life of a woman on a future colony in interstellar space. Her reflection upon her life in the form of memoirs. Describing her childhood, adolescence and adult life from a subjective viewpoint. Getting under the skin of this character. And describing what her life meant to her. Concerning her victories and defeats.

I’m aiming for improvements.

F.W Murnao

Articles Posted on Tue, July 03, 2018 02:39:14

Now I have seen three movies by the German director F.W. Murnao and I can easily say these movies are some of my favourite films.

The first one is “Nosferato”, a silent horror movie based on the vampire novel “Dracula” by Bram Stoker. And its visuals and creepy atmosphere are beyond the reach of most modern horror films. Becoming much more creepy due to the silent nature of the film and a truly remarkable monster.

The second one is “Faust” which I saw just an hour ago and it just blew me away. The visuals even transcended the visuals in “Nosferato”. The acting was gold. And the dramatic punch building on the drama of Johan Wolfgang Von Goethe’s play with the same name was just incredible. The nature of Satan has never been displayed with such dark splendour.

The third one is “Sunrise – A Song Of Two Humans”. A tragic love story with a sensational end. Visually its not as stunning as “Faust” but not far behind. Topping movies like Orson Welles “Citizen Kane” in that category. It’s also an edgy film with a love triangle surpassing any film I have seen in the genre.

What I love most about Murnao’s films is that I think he was a director that truly understood human nature and our personal struggles in this world. Knowing that love is a dark thing. And that heroism arises from the knowledge of what it is to be truly human.

Sensationally good films from my own point of view.

Beyond Enlightenment

Articles Posted on Sat, June 30, 2018 16:24:36

Things change.

I have come to some important realizations concerning my path as a free individual and those realizations have changed my life to a very large extent. That is that my prior period as a traveller, writer and musician just was a beginning towards something much greater than the sum of the earlier parts. It was something everything built against, something I couldn’t guess at but something that intense periods of suffering taught me I had to build against.

And that is that travel, writing and music creation gave me the insights required to pull me beyond personal self-realization into something more transpersonal in nature. That is the discovery of the mental aspects of the individual soul. Meaning that the higher chakras (described by esoteric teachings in great detail) are much more powerful than the discipline of discovering the physical world and writing for personal discovery.

One of the greatest discoveries was that the mental discipline of concentration pulled me beyond ordinary states of consciousness and pulled me into the mental world of reality creation and the Universal Mind.

At first it seemed I found greater depths of inner freedom but that was just the beginning. My occult creations were fuelled by an enormous power. Changing my perception of reality to include the higher aspects of the mental self.

Nowadays I have found out that these creations saved my life in a sense. I created a new reality, moved in between dimensions and most importantly changed the way I felt about the new experiences gained.

So that my experience of happiness increased from “feeling great” to becoming something impossible to describe in words.

The greatest wisdom I have found (and I must stress this with great importance) is that the concept of death was the greatest discovery I ever have made on my journey.

With this I don’t mean suicide. I mean the discipline of letting go of thoughts, emotions and actions to find the way to a clean mind. Living in seclusion, giving up all ambitions to create, meet people and rather enjoying pure silence, rest and pure nothingness. In this unclouded state of mind one will find great space to experience pure being.

Raising energy levels beyond comprehension and expand mental powers and becoming a god.

I must say it upfront. That I have passed enlightenment and gone beyond the concept of the over-man (described by philosophers such as Nietzsche) to become something much, much more powerful.

Still I use this consciousness to liberate other people along their own paths. Focusing on the concept of anarchy (still not chaotic in the sense described by some people) and liberation to make people more inspired to do their own thing and to find great strength, self-belief and confidence to advance on their own journey towards enlightenment and beyond.

Enlightenment is just the beginning. The passionate work to advance in occult knowledge and using transpersonal power to liberate others along their own paths is a great joy. This can be seen as love in a sense. But it is grounded in purity of soul and is really power when understood as an ontological thing.

Still not a disruptive power but creative, pure and free from all sentimental states of mind.

My mission right now is to continue along my individual path, reading a lot to understand the details of the physical space/time matrix. And getting more social experience to liberate others as described.

Still not a joyless attempt but as a passionate thing requiring silence, listening skills and adaptation.

The mental aspects of the self are the most important things as the higher chakras have enormously much more power than the lower chakras.

I’m still working on a new novel connecting chess with relationships, money and power. But still a private endeavour pale in comparison to the godly consciousness I have attained. It is a novel of becoming more like a real human as my recent novel “The Other” was a bit cold in the sense of psychological horror.

So if it is something I would recommend to beginner occultists it is that the concept of death is the most vital thing one can understand. As this unclouded state of mind, ease of body and soul can pull the individual into a godly state of power. Including higher happiness levels and energy to create more fluidly.

It is better to say it upfront: Enlightenment was just the beginning. The godly kingdoms described by esoteric teachings are kingdoms I experience daily. Still it is a matter of perception and you are free to make of it what you will.

Absolutely no coercion.

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